Saturday, December 31, 2005

Illustration Friday - Flavor

Flavor Flaaaaaav!

Sorry too much "Strange Love".

Alright... So what we have here is something I did awhile ago and modified slightly to fit the parameters of this week's Illustration Friday. It's my attempt at easy-to-use prosthetics. Ah screw on appendages, what a convenience.

Hope it gives you a laugh. If not, I won't cry. Probably most likely I won't cry.

And since I've lured you here I might as well just sound off on this that and the other. You're under no obligation to stay so feel free to surf away.

Ok... Thank you to those of you who stayed and my apologies in advance.

1. George Bush - What can I say that hasn't already been said. Fuck it... I'm just gonna repeat it. You're a liar, or you're just plain stupid. Or maybe you're both. You're an inept monkey. You've said history will show you were in the right. History is littered with pompous assholes who've said those same words. You won't be imortalized in the history books, instead your face will be in the dictionary next to the definition of the word "jackass"... jackass.

And for crying out loud, it's NOO-CLEE-UR not NU-QUE-LUR. Please do me a solid and learn to pronounce your "weapon of mass destruction" correctly... Idiot!

2. Gay Marriage - I don't understand what the hang up is about this. How does this affect heterosexual marriages? How does this devalue your marriage? Why do you care so much about what other people do so long as it is not harmful to you. It is not your business, so butt out. Don't go quoting scriptures on me or any other religious text. Believe it or not, there are people out there who don't believe the same thing as you.

This is about human rights. How dare you dictate to someone that they are not to be afforded the same rights as you.

3. Put Down the Cellphone, X-Box, Blackberry, Palm Pilot, iPod, etc etc. - Do you remember being bored? Do you remember when you used to have to find ways to keep yourself occupied? It's like people can't spend one minute without fiddling with some electronic thingy to keep them from being bored.

Boredom is creativity. Nothing creative and new comes from a mind that never has a chance to be bored.
Boredom is the time when you have a chance to stop and really think about things, to try and understand things that you have been too busy to really think about.

I really have fears about this generation of kids who sit in the back of the minvan and are subjected to an in-car DVD for a friggin' 20 minute drive. Talk to your kid. Sing with your kid. Spend that 20 minutes listening to your kid. Stop being so damn selfish and shoving a DVD in to keep them quiet so you can relax. You have kids, you don't get to relax anymore. I should be so lucky.

4. A positive note - Ok look... I can't end the year on such a negative rant, so let me just say that alot of people this year came through for me and my wife in a very big way. We were touched by the compassion and concern that came from people both inside and outside our circle of friends and family. Sometimes you take people for granted, because they are always just there, but you really appreciate them when you need them the most.

Alright that's it.. I'm grabbing 2006 by the balls and I'm not letting go. Well I'll let go for 2007. Wait scratch that... no not that! I'm not grabbing anything by the balls.

Happy New Year, keep doodlin'

Friday, December 23, 2005

Illustration Friday – Holiday

Technically this does not really depict a holiday, but let's say that we have opened our presents, stuffed ourselves with turkey, and decided to get a little exercise by heading out to build a snowman.

This is a lino print created for our 2005 company holiday card. I enjoyed doing it, and want to make more attempts at creating something so hands on. If anyone has any resources about lino printing they want to share with me, I would love to know about them.

Well one more Friday and we roll into 2006. About 2005, all I can say is that you were nice to me for a little while, and then you turned in to a real bitch/bastard. And now I look back and see that the good my wife and I are trying to do would never have come about had we not gone through what we had this year... Still... It's a damn huge price to pay to be more enlightened and aware of the world around us, but we both agree we could never go back.

If I have one wish this season, it's that you go and do something good. Doesn't have to be big.

Say "thank you" to someone, hold the door, stop driving that gas guzzler, if it's financially possible for you, do not shop at Wal-Mart, turn the TV off and go for a walk with your spouse, stick ten bucks in someone's pocket when they're not looking.

May you enjoy a peaceful holiday season.


UPDATE: I had a little trouble following my own advice. There were a couple of drunken Jerks on the train on the way home yammering in to their cellphones so that everyone could hear them all the way home. They thought they were hilarious. Really... they were just pathetic. Grow up, 4PM and you're shitfaced from an office party outing? What the fuck?

I wanted to punch them both in the head, but I didn't like the thought of spending the holidays in jail. So I wrote a full account of their assholish behaviour and left if on the seat as I exited the train hoping they would find it.

Not very nice I know... but at least they got to keep their teeth, and I got to stay out of trouble.

Uh... Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I'm back... Illustration Friday - Imagine

I'm back.

I knew I would fall. I said I would. I made it perfectly clear.

But I'm back. So let's let bygones be bygones, let's kiss and make up... Jeez did anyone even miss me?

OK so to commemorate my momentous return, I've created an all new piece of artwork for Illustration Friday. It's bold, it's bright, it's bombastic... just what the heck IS it?

Use your imagination.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Illustration Friday - Cold

Whoops... I knew sooner or later I would miss and Illustration Friday... but at least I am back. This is less of an illustration than it is playing with type. The snowflakes could use some work but like I said the type was what I was concerned about.

I will definitely try not to miss any more.

Enjoy or don't... Just please don't throw a rock at me if you see me on the street.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Illustration Friday - Float

Literal... so literal. Because I'm lazy. This is something I did quite a long time ago... almost 10 years ago in fact.

At the time I had been working for a man who had a client base existing almost solely of real estate agents. Most (all) of the stuff we did was ass-ugly. The ugliest shit you can imagine. Business cards that were just covered in phone numbers and cell phone numbers and fax numbers and home numbers and work numbers and on and on and on. Never before had a 2 by 3 and a half inch piece of cardstock held so much information. I never understood why these agents felt the need to have 4 or 5 phone numbers on their business card. If I were a client and I couldn't reach my agent after trying the second number listed, it would be time for me to find a new agent. Well what can you expect from someone who thinks being pictured on their business card wearing a gigantic plastic ear would somehow make clients think he was listening to them.

So, on to the duck. The duck came about because one of these real estate cats wanted to have a children's chore chart on the back of his junk mail (that's what it was... hey I'm being honest). After poking through the pitiful Corel clip art we had, I decided I would illustrate it myself. I had never done anything like this before, but it beat the hell out of squeezing a dozen phone numbers on a business card. I did this illustration to represent taking a bath. I also did one for brushing your teeth, making your bed, and something to do with toys. I can't tell anymore from the illustration.

I look back at it now and there are things I like about it, and things I don't like about it. I love the tiled wall and the fact that it is an almost abstract shape. The duck.. well that's another story I like the tones of yellow and orange and that's about it.

Geez I am going to run out of old artwork and I'll have to start doing new stuff in order to keep up with the weekly Illustration Friday submission. Well that's par for the course for me. Don't do anything until I absolutely have to.

Until we meet again.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Illustration Friday - Fresh!

Ok... Look I had a completely different idea than what's posted here. I had this drawing I did of a bunch of fresh underpants. Nunderpants, Thunderpants, Wonderpants etc etc... But I don't have a scanner. That meant I'd have to carry this sheet of paper all the way to work on the commuter train. Too much effort to try and keep it flat and uncrumpled, especially when the jackass sitting next you has to open his legs so his "boys" have some room to lounge about. But I digress.

I borrowed from a few other things I did and came up with this gem.

Oh that bee... what a rascal... what a rapscallion. He's just trying to get some. And the flower is all "Access Denied". Yeah wait till your petals turn brown and your leaves sag.. you'll wish you had bees buzzing about you then. You'll be lucky to find an earwig willing to climb your stem.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

More heroes...

Here are the first two experimental figures I did for my cut paper project. I'll get to it, I promise... Stop looking at the crossed fingers behind my back.

Anyway I really do like how these turned out. I was able to create them with out any gradients or curves which were the only guidelines I had set for myself. Sometimes good things come from being boxed in. Sometimes they don't, but that's rare.

Just a couple notes here in case anyone was curious. Yes... the "S" is not the same as the actual Superman shield. To be honest it just didn't look right without curves... so I improvised. And I like the result.

In retrospect, Superman feels a little stiff compared to Batman, and the Flash illo I posted a couple weeks ago. But hey, I'm making this up as I go along so cut me some slack. Maybe in the future I will add backgrounds to these to give them some context. I can totally see the back of some fedora wearing thug's head way up in the foreground being snapped back by the force of Batman's fist.

Comments anyone? Good? Bad? Ugly? Fair to middling?

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Illustration Friday | Escape

Sometimes you feel like a pig... some times you don't. It's all in your mind. Sheldon knows that... look at that pig fly. Every night that pig can escape, and for 8 hours he can be what he really wants to be. Isn't that what we all want? I need to be more like Sheldon.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Christmas comes early.

I'm trying hard to post to this blog with some kind of regular frequency. While I've not done anything completely brand new since the "roots" exercise, I promise to do so in the future. In fact I really need to. For now though, my fans (all 2 of you) will have to be satisfied with another couple of oldies but goodies.

These 2 illustrations were done for our company Christmas card. Each of us was given a few words to illustrate, and these two were mine. I think there were a dozen in all and they ended up being the size of a large postage stamp. I loved doing it and once I started I couldn't want to stop. I must have been having fun.

Anyway let me know what you think. Or don't... Or just think quietly to yourself.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Just wanted to say...

This is a goofy girly illustration.. but my wife likes it, and she asks so little of me, so I'm posting it for her. And please, do have a nice day.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The word for today is... Depth

Wow! I'm amazed that I'm actually making another post here. I am deadline driven, or at least assignment driven... It's hard for me to get anything done with out having the proverbial piano hanging by a thread above me. So here's my second Illustration Friday assignment! Depth!

The Flash illo was something I had created a few weeks ago. I was fascinated with cut paper and started creating "cut paper" figures in Adobe illustrator. They were to be test runs for the actual cut paper piece. Needless to say, I have not reached the cut paper stage yet.

Anyhoo, even though it's a very two dimensional looking piece, I used size and colour to convey depth of field. The other restriction I had set for myself was that I wanted to use only stratight lines... no curves. I added in the cityscape as an homage to Carmine Infantino. Carmine was the artist on a great number of Flash comics in the 60's, and he created these expansive futuristic cityscape backgrounds. The Flash always seemed to be running in a giant open tiled square, with the city looming miles in the background.

So there you have it.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Illustration Friday... the first of many I hope.

So I came across this site called Illustration Friday. Basically the idea is that you are given a word and you have a week to illustrate it. Anyway you want. Any medium you want. At your own pace. Ah... now those are my kind of parameters. The word this week is "roots".

My solution is posted here. I don't know if there's any greater meaning than the literal one, but if you happen to think of something good, let me know.

Good eve.

Procrastination Station... all aboard.

I get inspired very easily. I get started on things eagerly. I rarely finish what I start.

But it's not my fault... honest. it's my personality type, INTP. I won't bore you with the details, but basically my enthusiam for a project takes a sharp nose dive over time. I am content to live with things as they are... unfinished. Actually, not really content, more like too lazy to do anything about it.

Why am I telling you this? Because I'm letting you know, way in advance that my posts here will be sporadic, and possibly non-exist as time goes on. I can't help it. Not my fault. I didn't do it. That's the way it is. Que sera, sera.

Inspiring first post, no?

Well, onward, upward and ever forward. Here we go.