As I dragged my sorry ass to my car in the parking lot last night, I was assualted.
But the attacker wasn't human in nature. No... this attack came from the air. Yes that's right... I looked up in the sky to see not a plane, not Superman, but an ordinary bird.
SPLAT! Hot fresh birdshit on my collar. Cue canned studio laughter.
Apparently I can't win the lottery, or count on the healthcare system, or hope that the police might trouble themselves to respond to numerous calls about drunken teenagers smashing beer bottles, pissing and puking on my house... but I do have enough "luck" to be in the path of a seagull with the runs.
I've heard it said that being shit on by a bird is good luck. Well then Lady Luck, lay it on me. I could use some right about now.