Thursday, February 15, 2007

I did a bad thing

This evening while we were eating dinner, the phone rang. I hate when that happens. I hate it even more when it's a telemarketer.

The person on the other end asked if he was speaking to Mr. Ess. I said "Yes." and didn't bother trying to hide the edge in my voice. He immediately plunges in to some bullshit lie about my having won a ski weekend at an out of town resort. This isn't the first call I got like this, it won't be the last and I suspect the same goes for you. As I said earlier.. I hate telemarketers.

But I digress.

After he completed his overly enthusiastic announcement, I told him "No thanks".

He says "May I ask why?".

You know, having my dinner interrupted is bad enough, but I'm not going to explain myself to some jackass on the phone. I could have blown up at him... I could have just hung up... I could have been brutally honest and said I know it's all a scam, but I didn't.

Without missing a beat, I answered his question of why I would not like to claim my ski trip prize with a very deadpan "Because I have no legs."

I honestly thought he'd know I was bullshitting and would just hang up on me. Instead there was a short pause followed by an apology. He thanked me and said goodnight.

I felt bad about the fact that he actually bought it and that I lied about something like that.

But at the same time, it felt like a little bit of revenge for the woman who kept trying to sell me on some sort of education fund for my kid. She kept saying "Don't you care about your child's future. It's important to save now. Don't you care?"

I couldn't bring myself to tell her that my son had died a few days earlier. I didn't want her to feel bad. She didn't know. She couldn't have. I wanted to tell her but I couldn't.

Ski trip guy must have triggered something in me and that's why I did what I did.

Sorry ski trip guy.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

How do you tell someone their fly is open.

This morning on the train as I was disembarking I spied a man with his barn door wide open. I wanted to say something but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Now this poor schlub is walking around the city with a giant vent in his pants.